botanical gardens
“You smell good” is in my top 5 for fav compliments
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I associate nature with her (Coco). She’s gorgeous, and that’s just putting it simply. We don’t talk as often as I’d like. But that’s probably because she’s busy. Oh well. I miss talking sometimes. Then again I don’t know her well enough to actually miss her, to actually crave her. I’m not sure if I want that opportunity or not.
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Recently I’ve been missing Ian a bit. It’s probably because I read my journal yesterday. He was such a big part of my life from September 2016-May 2017. We weren’t even really friends. I just… “liked” him. And by that I had an obsession, a desire, a need, a want to be with him. He was the only thing on my mind most of the time. I think a small part of me still likes him. Now that I’m back home, it’s weird. I associate this house with high school. A year later everything is different. A year ago I would’ve been asking to follow him on Instagram. It was so weird and different back then. Yesterday didn’t feel real, I don’t know how I could miss someone I haven’t seen for months. Out of habit sometimes I’ll stalk his mom or dad on Facebook. Just because I used to do it every day in high school. I’m not quite sure what to do. He still follows me on Instagram but I had unfollowed him back in June. I don’t think I actually have feelings for him, do I? I think I only feel this way because I’m back home. When I’m at college, I almost never think about him. In fact, I don’t think about him at all. Yet when I come home… It’s so weird that everything’s changed. I mean, some stuff is the same but… I don’t know what to feel. I’m just going to wait for next semester. I’ll try my best next semester.
I’m just sorry